Years ago, this title quote was on the cover of "New Moon" magazine. I was little when I read it, but this quote has always stuck with me throughout my life. Everyone knows the feeling; the days when you just want to curl up, drink hot cocoa, and watch Disney movies. That was today. I don't know what happened, or even if it was anything specific, but today was just one of those days.
Despite everything incredible that this year has given me so far, I can't ignore the fact that most of the time, it's really really really difficult to be here. Most of you know that a couple years ago, the idea of leaving everything comfortable behind for a bunch of strangers would have sent me over the edge. The truth is, while I'm not as much of a social pariah as I used to be, I still have a ridiculously hard time making friends, and even when I'm comfortable around people in groups, it takes years for me to become genuinely close to someone. Because of this, there are many days when I find myself wondering whatever possessed me to do this and what my life would be like if I had simply gone to university. This whole lifestyle is so different from anything I've ever grown used to, especially in the past four years. Going from feeling at home in my tiny Zoo family to feeling lost in a sea of new everythings is incredibly overwhelming at times, and I can't say I'm not excited to go home in June. I will miss things, places, people, but at the end of the day, it will definitely feel great to go home to everyone I love with new insights and endless hugs and kisses. That said, please send cyber hugs after reading this! I need them badly! =(
Ahavah sheli,
Rachel
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