Thursday, March 11, 2010

A full day and wonderings about volunteering

11/3/10

Today, I reluctantly dragged myself out of bed and sleep walked to volunteering. I've been overly lethargic lately for reasons I don't understand, but I'm hoping that will go away soon. My volunteering partner had a doctor's appointment, so I was alone with the kids today. I didn't feel out of my element, having been in a classroom situation with elementary students for several years back home, but I still found myself frustrated. It's very difficult to be an out-of-class tutor when you have no idea what's going on in-class, no one seems to want to explain to you what's going on in-class, you get new kids every 45 minutes, and you get groups of three kids who are all at drastically different levels. It's hard. There's just no other way to describe it. I understand that the levels issue is an issue for the teachers as well, but with all the factors bunching up together, it's almost impossible to find a way to reach all the pupils in a fun and effective way. Does anyone have any suggestions? Please let me know! I really want to make this volunteering placement work... It did make my day to get massive amounts of hugs from my last group of girls though. I love little kids! So cute!

We started Ulpan today as well. I'm slightly peeved at the way the class is run, but I suppose there's never a perfect language class. Some things are too fast, some things are too slow, and for most of the class, I'm perfecting my doodling skills, but hey, if I can learn something in the two and half hours I'm there, I guess it's worth it. =D

After class, my roommates and I discovered that going grocery shopping on a thursday night is a stupid, stupid, stupid idea. The day before Shabbas is RIDICULOUS! Imagine Costco on black friday..... Needless to say, we made it out alive, and we managed to get free soy pudding, but we are NEVER repeating this experience...EVER!

I'm leaving for Kuma this upcoming Sunday night. I'll have a lot to say on that in a couple days when it fully sinks in. In the meantime, it's the weekend, and I'm excited for street fairs, sleep, beach, and food at my Scout's family's house!

Endless Love,
Rachel

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Starting Volunteering and Classes for the Last Time!

10/3/10

Here's the dealio for the rest of Bat Yam:

I told you before that I'm working at an elementary school. Today was my first day there, and it was great! The kids are adorable, and while it's going to be challenging since Israeli children are insane, I'm excited to try something new and exciting. Today, me and another volunteer were introduced to our first class of 5th graders. We taught them family members and body parts, and taught them the song "Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes"! It was cute! I think I can find a niche for myself at the school. But only time will tell!

I'm excited to have classes again! I ended up being placed in "King David: War, Women, and Song" and "God Talk". I switched out of the first one, though, since it bored me to tears. I'm now taking "Jewish Thinkers" in my first slot. "God Talk" is a fantastic class. We looked at people's questions about God and how we would address them in the coming weeks. We then listened to our first song, "God Said No", and talked about what the composer's theology portrayed. "God Said No" deals with the concept of wanting to go back in time to change things, but eventually accepting that the only thing we truly have control over is the present. I really loved this song. Not only was it beautiful, but it highlighted the idea of 'everything happens for a reason', a concept which I try to live by, but often need to be reminded of. I think I'm going to love this class.

Today, I was also recruited to be a volunteering spokesperson for Hadassah. Essentially, I'm going to be interviewed in the coming weeks, and in July, I'm going to go to the Young Judaea convention in Miami to talk about my experience on Year Course. Despite my issues with the YJ/Hadassah relationship and its implications, I'm excited to have this opportunity!

Endless Love,
Rachel

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Bug bites, Volunteering, and very very very Successful Cooking

9/3/10

So today, I woke up with bug bites in ridiculous places. I got bitten on my EAR! WTF?! How did the mosquito get there?!?! I have several on my back, arms, legs....fhdsajfkhdsajfkdsalhfjdskalfhdjsaklfhdjsakflha.

Anyway... I'm volunteering at an elementary school teaching English. It wasn't my first choice, but I think it could be fun. I'm going to see how it goes and figure things out from there. I start either thursday or tomorrow, but I'll let you all know how it goes!

I made baked eggplant parmesean and babaganoush tonight as well!

Okay, this is a really short post, but I promise I'll try to make the next one longer. I'm just not in a writing mood right now.

Much Love,
Rachel

Monday, March 8, 2010

Two Days in the Carmel Mountains (aka Middle Earth)

8/3/10

Yesterday morning, we set out bright and early for the Tzofim Center in the Carmel Mountains. After waking up at 6:30 for the first time in months, I passed out on the bus in Bat Yam and woke up in the Lord of the Rings. Seriously. The Carmel Mountains are lush, green, and surreal, with a supernatural feeling about them - as if you've stepped back in time. My camera died on the first picture, so unfortunately, I won't be able to show you what it looked like, but perhaps it's better that way. Our first hike (if you can call it a hike) was a 3 hour stroll to/through the Peace Farm. It's an old mill that now serves as a sort of museum for old milling tools and a tourist spot along the hiking routes. We stopped there to learn a little and eat lunch, and then finished our walk. I really can't call any of these treks 'hikes' as they were all flat and slightly downhill, but I suppose YJ has to compensate for everyone.

In the afternoon, we arrived at the Tzofim Center. Essentially, it was a summer camp setting that serves as the equivalent of a boy/girl scout center (although the tzofim are much more than boy/girl scouts in my opinion). At the center, we played a bunch of team games with the scouts, most involving ropes. They're a bit obsessed with the ropes up there...we had to jump over them, climb through them, untangle them, support giant cages with them... It was intense. We then split into three groups: one for cooking, one for ceremony, and one for fire signs. I went with the cooking group and proceeded to spend five hours lighting fires, shredding/chopping veggies, and finally making veggie patties. It took forever, but it tasted fantastic and was totally worth it! Dessert was baked carmel apples...mmmm..... After dinner, we all gathered for a giant tribalish fire dance/sign. It was AMAZING. Celebration of the "Lama Lo". No one has any idea what that means.....

This morning, we were all sore from sleeping on a wooden floor, but we dragged ourselves out of our sleeping bags and prepared for today's 'hike'. We set out early and hiked for a couple hours through a super muddy area of Middle Earth. It was absolutely gorgeous, stunning, mezmorizing, and many other words! Not much of a walk, but completely worth the views. Afterwards, we hopped back on the busses and headed back to camp to make lunch. We rolled pita bread balls, made fires, and made our own pitot. It was yumminess.

Now, I am freshly showered and ready to zzzzzzzzz. =D
Lots of Love,
Rachel

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Welcome to Bat Yam!

5/3/10

We are moved into Hadaddi 13! Bat Yam is fantastic and already feels like home. I love my roommates, and I think these last three months are going to be great. Bat Yam is an interesting mix between Jerusalem and Arad. It's small and cozy, but still a city. We're in a nice location. We're surrounded by parks, a five minute walk from the YC offices, a 20 minute walk from classes, and a 10 minute walk from the mall (which is basically the central meeting place). We're on the fourth floor, and sadly, the stairs are slightly exhausting, but at least my legs will get toned!

Yesterday, we had our first orientation. We met the staff, chose our classes, went shopping, toured Bat Yam, and played some extremely unsuccessful games. The Madrichim for this section are supposed to be the strictest of the sections, but so far, they seem fantastic. My Madrich is Joe, and he's hysterically fun. Mifgashim are going to be good times. I don't know for sure what my classes are going to be yet, but I signed up for "The Arab/Israeli Conflict" and "God Talk". The first is a politics/history course that deals with the various conflicts that have led to today's tension and the current issues that are slowing down the peace process. The second is a bit of a hippie-sounding class, but I think it'll be great for me. "God Talk" looks at how perceptions of God have changed over time and how that can be seen in music of various eras. Hopefully, I'll get these classes! I'm also happy to report that I went on my first stress-free grocery shopping trip in three months. Go new apartment! We have TONS of food, and I'm very excited for all the cooking that's going to happen around here. Mmmmm....

Today was friday, and so we got to relax and enjoy our first weekend in our new home. Some friends and I got up a little early and bussed to Tel Aviv to check out the Carmel Shuk (the cheapest shopping area in Israel) and the Artist's Fair (a street next to the shuk that hosts artists' booths every tuesday and friday morning. I bought a bunch of presents and a few trinkets for myself. Mische will be very happy, as I finally bought her the Aladdin pants she's been wanting. =D In the afternoon, we came back sleepy and rested until dinner. We made Blondies (undercooked brownies) for the big section Shabbat dinner - which was great! All in all, a really great day.

Bat Yam is a very happy place. We live in an area with a lot of families, and even though it's one of Israel's poorer neighborhoods, it still feels very welcoming. It's still sketchy and we're not allowed to walk alone at night, but in a way, that just adds to the exciting energy of the place. My roommates and I are very motivated to make the most out of these last three months, and even if it means spending a little more, we're planning trips for several weekends in April and May - including paragliding! It feels strange to know that this is the last place I will fully unpack in Israel, but at the same time, three months is a really long time, and there's so much potential, especially with the Scouts to help us out.

Until tomorrow!
All my Love,
Rachel

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

"Leave your stepping stones behind, something calls for you. Forget the dead you've left behind, they will not follow you."

2/3/10

Sometimes, it takes a moment of unbearable frustration and tears to make way for the ability to move on. Sometimes, it's easy to feel so stuck in a situation that it's easy to say "I can't do this!" or "I just want to give up and go home...". Sometimes, and only sometimes, it's possible to become so overwhelmed that all you can do is scream to the sky to stop the world so you can get off, only to realize that in the time it took you to yell pointlessly, the world kept going, and now things are even more messed up than they were. And sometimes, after all of this negativity and pointlessness, it's possible to see that the part of you that's not about to jump off a cliff is a lot stronger than you give her credit for, and when all is said and done, the best day of your life and the worst day of your life are both 24 hours long.

These past three months have been a test in every way. Living with such a large group of people, learning to navigate a complex city, pushing my tolerance limits, dealing with my changing opinions, missing home but not wanting to go home, and in general just being thrown into a pool of things I've never had to handle before. I've been so tossed and turned that I'm not entirely sure who I am anymore, and it scares me. Moving to Bat Yam means a lot of things, many of which I mentioned in my last post, but more than anything, it means the beginning of the end of YC. The thought that Jerusalem went by in a mili-second and now we have that same amount of time left is honestly a bit mind-blowing. I know I say that a lot, but it's true! None of my years in high school ever went by this quickly, and considering that when I came for the first time, five weeks seemed like a lifetime, I think it says a lot about how much I've changed that I can look at the next three months as an incredibly short amount of time. You have no idea how strange it is that the next time I pack up all my things, it will be to load them onto a plane to go home. I almost wrote "to go home to face reality", but I don't even know what reality is anymore. I used to think reality was wherever I found myself in a given moment, but now I'm not sure. Everyone keeps saying that I'm still preparing myself for "real-life", but when does "real-life" start? Am I not really living yet? Is being on my own in a foreign country still not enough to qualify? I'm still coming to terms with this question. In some ways, I want to go home, get an apartment and start my life, but in other ways, I feel like I'm still not even ready for college. It's a strange in-between...

All I can say for now is that tomorrow is moving day...
All my Love,
Rachel

Monday, March 1, 2010

Hag Sameach! Purim and Rosh Chodesh!

1/3/10

IT'S MARCH!
-6 months in Israel reached!
-3 months left in Israel!
-13 days to Kuma!
-2 days to Bat Yam!
-So many feelings, I don't know what to do with myself!

I'm excited because I'm moving on to new things, I'm sad to be leaving Jerusalem, I'm nervous for Kuma coming up so quickly, I'm conflicted about getting closer to going home, and I'm so exhausted from not sleeping that a part of me would honestly just like to curl up for the next week. I think in a lot of ways, I'm just not sure where I belong anymore. When I think about going home, it's hard to think about people and places in a way that goes beyond a simple visit. On the other hand, when I think about staying here, I can't help but want to go home. Where is home though? I'm a firm believer that home is where the heart is, but right now, my heart doesn't know what it wants. I want the people I love, but being with them in the way I used to would keep me from moving on. I want to be in the places I love, but I also love jumping from place to place. Perhaps to keep my mind occupied, but also just to see things and be constantly stimulated. I'm terrified of staying here because the more YC goes on, the less I know who I am, but I'm terrified of going home because I'm afraid I've changed so much that I won't be able to connect with any of the things I'm missing. I think right now, I miss being safe more than anything. I miss the old me because she was so sure of who she was, her likes, her dislikes, her dreams, her desires, her values. Now, I've become so imbedded in the gray areas of my mind that I've invented a new color! I wish I knew what to do, but at this point, the only thing left to do is to simply wait certain things out and see what happens.

Bat Yam is going to be a completely different experience than Jerusalem or Arad. Bat Yam is the ruralness of Arad with the city of Jerusalem and the complications of clashing cultures and poverty....and the beach of course. We're also going to be in close proximity to Tel Aviv and Jaffa, which adds more options for nearby adventures. Hopefully, because the apartments will be smaller, it will be easier to manage. I'm rooming with Lizzy, Ari, Shaina, Celine, and Maya (a tzofa - Israeli scout). The apartment itself will be smaller (three girls to a room instead of the usual two), but I think the group of us will be just fine.

This weekend was Purim! Okay, first, I need to explain what Purim is and why this ridiculous holiday is so important to me. Purim is the celebration of Esther saving the Jews of Persia from genocide by the hands of the evil Haman. Traditionally, we celebrated with wine, costumes, and a reading of the Megila (the scroll that records the story). Back home, the highlight of Purim, and perhaps the highlight of the entire year, is our Purim Spiel (play) where we act out the story. This sounds simple and unexciting, but Kol Ami Purim Spiels are different from anywhere else. Every year, our cantor, Mark, rewrites a musical and twists the story into a rioting, inappropriate fiasco with drag queens, jokes, and a solid dose of political banter. The first spiel I was in was my first stage appearance, and I still remember my one line that I ran up at the end to blurt out in a stage-fraught frenzy. That year was also the year of Julie's infamous gefilte fish costume, but we won't go into that... This year, Oliver was chosen for the sacrifice, and even though it's not my favorite musical, hearing the music made me tear a little. I can't explain why this night is so spectacular. It's just the perfect combination of people, mayhem, music, and performance. This year, though, I had to make due without. It was hard, but Purim in Israel ALMOST made up for it...

Purim in Israel is three nights and two days. It started with normal purim on saturday night/sunday day, and the Shushan Purim from sunday night to monday night. It goes without saying that the partying gets intense and sleep is nowhere to be found. Saturday night was an-all night costume party in Tel Aviv, sunday was street parties and another night of, um, frolicking? Finally today was Shushan Purim. There were carnivals, parades, and costumes everywhere! Ben Yehuda was incredible and reminded me a lot of Carnival in Venice. Did this make up for my home-tradition? Meh, not quite. As someone who's not too into the club scene, I enjoyed my Purim, but I still missed my Spiel family back home.

I'm off to finish packing and writing my final paper of the semester.
Endless love,
Rachel <3