Thoughts on Leaving

Today is my last day in the US before I head out to Tel Aviv.  Somewhat surprisingly, to me at least, my emotions are unbelievably mixed.  During the months leading up to this trip, I've been nothing but excited and counting the days until I could step onto El Al flight #12.  Now, though, I'm really overwhelmed with how big of a change this is all going to be.  I'm still excited, don't get me wrong, but as I pack away my monstrous duffle bags, I'm realizing that I'm throwing myself into an immensely complex, uplifting, scary, hard, hilarious, and heartbreaking situation.  

Amusing, considering a year ago today, I made the decision to apply for year course in about less than 5 seconds.  

In watching my friends start their college experiences, I feel a slight pang of regret knowing I've chosen to put off that freshman panic; that I'm not one of the hundreds of excited college students flooding Target and Bed Bath and Beyond searching for the perfect dorm supplies.  At the same time though, I'm reminded of why I made this decision in the first place, and I still stand by my reasons for doing so.  The whole process of going through the school system and feeling the pressure to fit into the perfect American formula was almost unbearable for me.  I was constantly worried about getting the right grades, having hundreds of extra curriculars, and getting into an Ivy League.  

When I went to Israel last summer, though, I realized that I never wanted any of that.  I wanted to travel, I wanted to meet people, I wanted to see anything I could that wasn't surrounded by McDonalds or Abercrombie and Fitch.  Year Course was my ticket to experiencing a life outside of the giant pressure bubble I was so miserable living in.  It was also a way to reconnect with Judaism in a way I haven't been able to do here in America.  Besides being a beautiful country, Israel offers Jewish teens, like me, a constant community.  There is no feeling more amazing than walking down a street and being invited into everyone's home for Shabbas, or bargaining in "ivrit" for a coveted "magein david" necklace.  

I'm going to miss everyone back in America terribly, and I may even miss Los Angeles at times, but for everything I'm going to miss, I feel confident in saying that I'm going to be extremely happy in the year to come. I know I am making the right decision.  

Lehitraot, chaverim! 

(goodbye, friends!)

And an extra note if you're interested: 

In the blogs to come, I may be using some unfamiliar terms. Here are some basics, so you can understand what the heck I'm talking about! =D

chanichim: participants or campers (that's ME!)

madrichim: counselors (they look after us when we get lost)

tzofim: israeli scouts (they'll be living with us)

marva: basic army training program

slicha: please/excuse me (not that this ever really works...)

haddasah: one of young judaea's partner programs, the main hospital in Israel

FZedY: the british form of young judaea (they're also staying with us)

zabim: turtles (i probably won't use this one, but it's melissa's favorite word)